


I always wonder ...

by KiaMianara



Series: The Difficulties of being stuck on a mud ball [1]
Category: Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers Generation One
Genre: Brother Feels, Gen, Musing, ego-perspective
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-30
Updated: 2014-10-30
Packaged: 2018-02-23 06:19:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2537354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KiaMianara/pseuds/KiaMianara
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Silverbold muses about combiners, merging and the importance of having others by his side.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I always wonder ...

**Author's Note:**

> An old one-shot that ... honestly, I don't remember why I wrote it. It's back from 2008, but it's kinda nice, so whatever.
> 
> Ego-perspective and present time are usually not my style, so there might be some gramma error I overlooked.

* * *

 

I always wonder, if the others know what I feel when we become Superion.

 

Don’t get me wrong, I really like them. It’s like ... I can only compare it to the bonded couples I know from the base. We are not, but we always know where the others are, too, know whenever they are in physical pain or not, but that’s it. Unlike bondmates we usually can’t sense what the others are feeling, at least I can’t beyond reading mimics and gestures, and when we merge we ... well, we _merge_.

 

When we are Superion we think and feel as one being, but I can’t imagine we really are one. At least our sparks must still be separated; probably moved very close together, but I don’t know the details and I don’t really care either.

 

I just know that it’s the best. It’s like there is nothing that could separate us again, like never being alone, ever ... but we _do_ separate, eventually, and still I wonder, if the others can feel just how much I dislike to be on my own again in the small moment when we still are one but at the same time separated consciousnesses again. It wouldn’t be bad, if they knew, but I fear Slingshot would make fun of me.

  
He probably wouldn’t mean any harm; it’s just the way he is, but it _would_ hurt the same way it hurts when he makes fun of my acrophobia.

  
Maybe I should talk with one of the Protectobots. First Aid probably knows how I feel, being pacifistic by spark in a time of war.

  
“Hey, Silver. We wanna look out for some D-craps to tease. Ya coming along?”

  
On the other hand would the medic in training most likely say that, despite all their differences, there had to be a reason we were able to become one, more than just having been _build_ to be able to merge.

  
“Alright, but ... not so high, okay?”

  
I can see Slingshot rolling his optics, something many Autobots had picked up from the humans. It signalizes annoyance, but there is this twinkle in his optics, telling me he expected me to say something like that anyway.

  
“Fine. As long as you don’t _walk_ , do what you want. We can work out the rest later.”

  
Later is good. Later means `not now´, although it also means it _will_ happen, eventually, but he also said `we´, so they will be at my side, ground me when the ground is too far away, and that is a good thought.

  
  
I always wonder, if the others know that I feel like I don’t have to fear anything, not even the greatest highs, when we become Superion, but on days like this I also wonder, if we really need to merge to be one.

 

**END**


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